Motherhood, My New Perspective

I realized that for some time now, I’ve been underappreciating what my wife does as a mother.

Somewhere down the line, our culture has devalued the role of mother, and instead elevating the role of careerwoman.  There is nothing wrong with women working alongside men in the workplace.  Some single mothers need to work to support their families.  But, what I’m talking about is the reaction you get at parties…

“So what do you do?”

“I’m a stay-at-home mom”

“Oh”

*End of conversation*

I know that often people don’t understand this role, and thus the reaction.  So I’d like to try to fill in the gaps and show how much work I’ve seen my wife do for our little son.

6am – Baby (hes now 20 months) wakes up.  No sleeping in.  Baby sleeps at 8 or 9pm so hes up now. 

6:15 – Make baby breakfast, usu. some cereal or bread and warm milk.

Wait…

7:00am – change poopy diaper.

fr. 7-11:30 – Playtime, time to teach him something, maybe they go out.  But keep in mind, where ever baby goes, he makes a mess.  He touches things.  There are snacks and drink times within this period.  Where there’s eating…there’s pooping and peeing.  Baby goes through 6-8 diaper changes a day. 

11:30 – 12:30: Lunch.  Mom usually makes lunch for baby.  That means clean ups from the floor, on the baby, and dishes to be cleaned.

12:30 -2pm: Naptime.  Babies don’t usually nap on their own.  They need to be put down.  Mom has to sleep with him.    But she doesn’t actually sleep.  She waits til he sleeps.  Dad watches him, and Mom goes out to try to get something done for herself.

2-6pm: Playtime, teaching, maybe playdate or just going out.  It’s easiest if there are two watching him at all times.  I help my wife, b/c I have a very flexible job as a resident manager.  But it must be very difficult for wife when husband goes to work, if mom’s mom doesn’t help out.  Then the mom is stuck at home basically.  The mom also has to try to squeeze in time to clean the house and do laundry, and do dishes.  Very difficult when you have to watch the kid.  They can get into all kinds of trouble.  So the house is usually a mess.  Something to get used to.  You also learn to read your baby.  If he’s cranky, hes either hungry, thirsty, needs a potty change, sleepy, or wants something else.  All the crying and misbehaving is trying.  Something else to get used to.

6-7: Dinner.  Mom makes it usually.  We don’t usually buy food, it’s cheaper and healthier to make dinner.  That means more cleanups.

8pm: Time to put baby to bed again.  This mean making warm milk, singing to baby or telling him a story. 

By this time, mom is exhausted, mentally as well as physically.  The house is usually still a mess.  And mom hasn’t had time for herself all day.  My wife usually claims the tv as her ‘me time’ til ten.  She tries to clean, and then goes to bed by 10:00pm.  Mom doesn’t have time for nice clothes, makeup, exercise, spas, nails, pedicures, much time for her old friends anymore.  Sad.  It’s a big sacrifice to be a mom.

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2 Comments

  1. I enjoy this site, it is worth me coming back

  2. jchenwa

     /  September 30, 2009

    Thanks for visiting! Yes, please return.

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