Can Men and Women Be Friends?


For those of us who remember When Harry Met Sally, the movie…remember that question?

‘Can Men and Women be friends?’

My answer is yes.  I’ll say why I think so. The problem is lust.  Sexual lust.  It’s a common problem.  It’s normal in this world.  But, if men and women would be satisfied with their marriages, and not chase after each other’s bodies, that would make this world a better place.  Easier said than done?  Yes, I know.

As a single, I failed in this.  Lust overcame me.  But, now looking back,  I believe the godly way to date, is to cultivate friendship(s) first and get to know the other person(s).  Controlling the body (or flesh), and saving the sex for after marriage or after you’ve made the commitment to the other person to be with them their entire lifetime to love them.

Forgive me, if this makes you blush, but now that I’m married,  sex isn’t that high on the list as when I was single.  When you have a wife and a family.  You have to work.  You have to love them, care for them.  Sex is still part of the mix, but its not as major as before.

I believe, many divorces occur, because men and women did not take the time to find out who the other person is.  They just get together because of the sex or because of money.  After the ‘honeymoon’ is over, and the fun is over and the work begins, they think the other person is not worth the work or something.  The lights come on after the dance, and they see who they are with.  Another related issue is selfishness.  One has to have a level of spiritual maturity (love and selflessness) for a marriage to work or marriage will be difficult.  Two people in the marriage can’t both want the other to serve them only.  It just won’t work.  GOD tells us to serve one another.  And to submit to one another.

So, don’t believe that lie.  Be friends with women first.  Take it slow.  I’m not saying to be overly cautious.  Commitment is a bit scary to some, I know.  But the rewards of having a life partner are so great.  Don’t make the same mistake as I.  It’s not all fun and games.  If you take it slow, and treat women honorably, GOD will show you whether this person is right for you.  I’ve not listen to GOD about that, and made a lot of mistakes that I still feel bad about today.  GOD can forgive you of anything, but even though the past is the past….I’m not through it yet.

Leave a comment


  1. belinda

     /  October 20, 2009

    i agree to that 100% ive been together with my man almost 3 years now that my father took a heart attch now i dont know because i told him a bout it he took his family out to dinner
    he said he was sorry i think family comes first
    im engaged to him im thinking about leaving him
    but im leaving it up God

  2. jchenwa

     /  October 21, 2009

    GOD please help Belinda.

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