Confessions, p.1

I’m just a normal person that’s made my share of mistakes.  And now that I’m a dad, I hope for better from and for my son.  He’s two.  Almost three, and it’s amazing how much little people understand even at that age.

A big part of my young life was spent in denial and regret.  You see, when I was fifteen, I met a girl and we did what normal, crazy hormone-laden teenagers did on a boring coconut island.  We humped like rabbits.  Stupid us, we didn’t use protection, so she got pregnant.  I wasn’t ready to be a dad.  We didn’t really love each other.  Her uncle and aunt took our son in and raised him, for that I am thankful.  So from fifteen to about thirty, I was in a kind of funk, unable to live that all down.

I got sucked into a downward spiral of all kinds of stuff.  And in 2001, I tried to take my life.  That was wrong, very wrong.  Kids thinking about suicide, don’t do it.  Seek counseling.  There is always a way out or solutions to your problems.  With fiath in yourself and steady work, you can dig yourself out of holes.   Sometimes life is just down.  You gotta ride it out.  After talking with my family a few years after, I realized how SELFISH that act was.  My parents, brothers all were very hurt by it.  My little brother, whom I love very much, actually had to go through counseling himself after I did that.  You are not just you.  You are part of a family, a unit, that hurts when you hurt, and they’ll die when you die.  If you really love your family, then you will find another way.

For me, that way was the Way, Jesus Christ.  For you, I hope He is your Saviour too.  But I’m most grateful to Him because I should have died and I didn’t.  He’s brought me back to Guam and removed the guilt and shame in my heart.  Guam is home again.  My parents and I have a good relationship again.  My work on Guam has been so-so, but better than before.  But most amazingly, in 2007, someone thought enough of me to be my wife.  And Someone else thought enough of me also, to make me a father like the Father.  I’ve gotten so many second chances.  I’m so thankful to GOD.

Leave a comment

2 Comments

  1. Wow… what a testimony!

    I look forward to hearing the rest of the story, brother…

  2. jchenwa

     /  June 16, 2010

    yeah, thanks, i’ve experienced that GOD wanted me to come into the light, and He made everything alright again. He’s a cool Guy. More story coming up soon.

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