Two More Months!

2013 marks a new time in my life. It is a new beginning.

I have also met LOVE,

February 14, 2013 will be my last and first post on this blog, so if you have any questions on the material on this blog, please send them to me via contact form, if not it’s okay too. If there are enough questions we can post them as a FAQ page.

It’s been great posting and learning along with you, GOD bless and PEACE and may GOD in His Great Mercy always BLESS you and KEEP you,


11.21.2012 – Dear Isabella,

My darling Isabella,

I am waiting for your mom, Brenda.

Netflix. Watching an olde movie, Boys and girls starring Claire Forlani and Freddie Prinze, Jr. You’ll like him, I’m sure.

Claire’s character is strong and in the end realizes that both she and that guy love each other.

I’ve raised you to be free. Follow your heart. My Spirit weeps for the lack of conviction and faith in people today. You’ll get hurt. As we, L, have but this life,

not often do we find the One,

you first become the One, you’ve always wanted to be, just be yourself,

and then when you meet the One for you, you will know it instantly! For me, I only saw your mom twice for her to be in my heart, in all my thoughts, every second, in a flash time stood still. Twinkling and phaseing, pulsing, and expanding my mind,

After we met, we became eternity. I saw our lives backwards and forwards. And I was transported tomorrow now forever into the heavens. Everyday is a sunny moon full day, filled with songs of love to the beauty of her face. So excited, everydays just to be near her, so many plans, thoughts, just want to love her sooooo good. Nothing is unshakable. But our love,

Don’t be afraid, be courageous and bold! Make me proud and really live and follow LOVE!

Sorry God, I don’t love you,

I fell today,

I can’t be your priest,

You just won’t be first anymore,

Forgive me,

Don’t be mad,

We’ll always be family and friends,


before you get mad,

it was you first, I remembet,

Every atom and quark within me is screaming at me!!!!!!!!

Brenda’s the One, go, go, go,

I’m not sorry at all, my queen, I Love Brenda!

Meditations on O.P.P.

Have you ever been so poor you,

couldn’t afford a friend?

could afford a relationship,

surely Bill Clinton understood that,

as someone said, Money and Morals go together,

when luxuries are out,

and the hearts right,

the main thing est having kids,

they are our Love and Joy,

when pleasantries are out,

what is there but to do it,

it’s Life at it’s simplest,

even if everything disappears,

we’ll still have Life,

Poem – Job Report I

Some insites on Job
da keyboard is brken,

Job was old,
Job was being considered for the position of son,
Satan is a son, black hole sun,
Satan is the testor, pass and you are in,

His friends did not comfort him in his pain,
we often choose justice & judgment,
over mercy, kindness, and understanding,

In the end, Lord reveals that Job has always been his son,
and to receive back what he lost and more,
he prayed for his friends who spoke wrong of God.

God is never wrong,
and it is difficult to never charge others,
With wrongdoing, but God never does,
that is it,


Don’t cross the little kids,

Children have the most powerful Angels, so always treat them right. As a group they can be rather terrible when agitated, so be forewarned!

Let’s Get Real, by Guest Poster (Santana)

I’d like to voice an unpopular opinion about violence and men,

and women of course, because I qualify as one. I’ve had female spirits ‘around’ me, and I am currently a mom to my son, and my wife.

My wife comes from a let’s say complicated background. She doesn’t read this, so I hope she doesn’t mind. She is very smart, and if I didn’t know better she has some form of mind powers. Just joking. Or am I?

Females are able to get away with hurtful talk, subtle and subliminal thoughts and actions because they often do it with a smile. Or they play like they don’t know. Or they are not violent with fists, but they are sarcastically witty.

Let me say, that just as females would rather be attacked verbally, men would rather be attacked physically. The words and faithless words and discouragement hurt worse than if you just took a knife and stuck it.

It takes two to tango, and women often play the victim when both people had as much fault.

The last factors in why people are violent are the family environment, spiritual heritage, and paranormal involvement, oh AND celestial effects (the moon, solar flares, the planets, etc). The last one is one that gets me. Did you know you are affected by your environment? Your neighborhood’s ‘group thought can affect you. And have you check if your house is haunted or not? Did something happen there? Often there was.

Bottom line, fighting is fighting. And we need to learn to be peaceful people.

If it isn’t working, the only thing to do is separate. And when you miss each other and really want to try again, then please do so. BUT, this time, DO BETTER and really GET ALONG.

I hope I made friends in the male readership. Women, I’m one of you too, more like a mom, so don’t hate me, just trying to keep it real.

and LOVE,

From Dust You Came,

What are ghosts?

Some of us, with the third eye open, can see them. And they are scary as sh*t! Sorry, ghosts. Why are they unrest?

Ghosts tell me that remember what GOD said…from dust you came and to dust you shall return. What that means at a practical level is:

There are many reasons the dearly departed are at unrest, but one reason is they have been buried in the wrong place. Wherever we are born, that is where we approximately or exactly should be buried. Otherwise, unrest. So, those family members with means, many bodies need to be removed and reburied in the proper place,

Thanks, the dead thank you for listening,

Happy Halloween,

Today I Remember,

It is the Day of Atonement today, and although I’m not an ethnic Jew, I’m one. I feel rundown, so I’m just fasting a couple of meals today and taking advantage of GOD’s Grace, heh heh. Just jokin,

I remember that GOD saved and delivered the Jewish people from Egypt and a life of slavery. But before they exited, the firstborn of Egypt and the soldiers,

How are we to understand this? I don’t know, but I know this, GOD loves everybody, given that,

There was a ‘compensation’ for the death of those in Egypt. Israel became a nation of priests. There is great joy in it, but if you are not ready for it, it can feel that way, and certainly the world doesn’t understand what you do.

Every first born belonged to GOD, that means basically these became the priests of the nation, and really the world. The required priesthood of Aaron, ended when Jesus the Messiah came. Now we are called to be priests, it si a voluntary now,

One last note, the Waves of the Red Sea closed on the ‘bad’ Egyptians. How are we to understand this? Wouldn’t an Egyptian think, I’ve been demonized by those stories and anyone sympathetic to Judaism or Christianity would consider me bad, bad, bad? Maybe at that point in time, the rulers of Egypt were not doing right. GOD, GODDESS, Mother Earth (the Sea) are Mother and Father of all. Now people of Egypt, all people are much much better than the past because of evolution, breeding, teaching, the help of higher beings and powers, etc. So I feel okay to say that, then perhaps,

Those in the ruling class of Egypt did not please GOD/GODDESS and it was their time to go. The Earth Mother took them back, took their bodies back. And of course the ‘young’ spirits/souls in them returned to the Infinite Heavens to talk it over with Hashem YHWH, Father and Mother,

A key to understanding the seemingly unfair and injustice in everyday life is what the LORD Jesus termed, ‘the resurrection’. The Sadduccees did not believe this, resurrection = rebirth. When people die, they just come back again, again, and again until their souls have learned the lessons and gained enough experience to Ascend to the next level, which is something like ‘Angelhood’. Then there is not need to reincarnate anymore,

In conclusion, GOD IS loving, GOD is fair, and GOD knows what HE/SHE is doing, He has a plan to ‘evolve’ or grow you into something really great, through life after life of every good things,

I hope you receive this, if not, that’s good too. NO pressure, you have choice and freedom, if you don’t like what I am saying, I’m good with that too. It’s your life, love you,


The Poor,

That’s the secret,

I won’t reveal any REAL secrets, but guess what, you want to REALLY follow Jesus? One thing, a VERY big thing, a VERY VERY big deal to GOD, Christ Jesus is:

The care of the poor.

If you want to be my friend, care about the things I care about,

If you love me, love my people,

When I consciously decided to show love and care for any poor person that I saw, my life changed. There was a quickening and the LORD Jesus entered my heart in a new and more profound way,

but mostly, I hope I can say this,

Jesus was pleased by the living out of His Way, and then I loved Him more, and He loved me more.

This is the meaning of being ‘In Christ’. It means you are in His Heart, and He is in your heart, and the love is complete. Please try, and open your heart. Do I need to quote Scripture to you, you remember all the Scriptures that mention how the LORD Jesus feels about the poor. Please DO IT,


ET Phone Phone,

Okay, I lightened it up a bit,

But would you WORSHIP?

Not because it is due, not because of fear or because you want something,

Because YOU LOVE and MISS GOD your Mother and Father,

There lives in you, the Eternal Spirit spark which is basically ‘a piece’ of GOD,

So it’s like you are at boarding school, and you are forgetting your purpose and your mission and you are forgetting to CALL HOME.

Worship is spontaneous, forgetful of self, expressing of Pure LOVE to GOD, and it is cultivated through the experiences we choose. If we live to serve from LOVE, and not for profit or for self aggrandizing or selfish motives, we then become people who experience JOY. JOY is given from above, and is a way for reaching out and touching the High Energies of GOD,

Please meditate on that,


What is an Adam and Eve? The Adamic Sons,

We are getting new information which should ease the suffering of those whom society greatly misunderstand, though some misguidance has been part of the equation.

We are not simply humans, among us are many, many different types of creatures and even walk among invisible to the naked eye, higher and Angelic Beings. The inheritors of Earth or Urantia are the original man, who some call the BaKaRe. This civilization started in Africa, and predates all modern societies such as Egypt, China, India, the Urgitities, etc. The Earth is much older than you suppose and have been told. There have been transplanted races of human stock, ETs, fallen Angels, visitations of timeless beings, incarnated beings, etc.

The Adamic Sons, which are/were Sons of GOD, came to Earth to help, in the way of sex creation, procreation. So, when you see someone who struggles with sexuality in having many partners and having many kids. It is NOT always because they are evil and need to be exorcized or ostracized or mad to feel bad by church. Sometimes it is the Adamic DNA in them expressing their function which is to HAVE A LOT OF KIDS. But, the Laws of YHWH still apply,

It is best if we remain with one partner, but if not possible, GOD can do the impossible. Let us not worry about the future of how we will relate to each other in the Heavens,


The choices you make may cause suffering, but sometimes we as a society lack the understanding, and it might serve us better to be more tolerant, peaceable, and merciful. And we can just say, “I DON’T KNOW.” But, I’ll love you anyway.

In Your Service,

Following Your Heart in Hard,

GOD has been teaching me to follow Him, to do what is right, because often the people around you will disagree. Or they will get mad. Or they will cry and make noises.

When you can see what is the right thing to do, often you just have to do it. Recently, everyone around me has been discouraging. But I can see what is the plan, what people need and want, and what I must do. This is because I really know my people. But, everyone is getting set in their ways, is afraid, and just plain unwilling to do anything.

It’s GOD and me, and surprisingly my 4 year old son. He told me, “It’s me and you, Dad.” I will always remember this.

But you may think, “Why not wait it out and let GOD figure it out and do something and open a door?” I have thought about that and prayed about that and that’s not what’s going on here. GOD is calling for action. If nothing is done, nothing will change, and everyone will not receive the blessings GOD has for us. Sometimes, as we grow perfect, GOD puts more on our plate, gives us more to do, and expects more from us. When I’m up against something that is too big for me, I’ll know. And I’ll be the first to fall on my knees and ask for Divine help or help from others that offer it. But I’m all for doing my part and doing everything I can when I can. If that is wrong then I don’t want to be right,


Crazy, Permissive Child Rearing,

As I age, like good beef, cheese, or something else, I am just becoming a big softie. I don’t like how most people raise their kids. OK, that sounded strange, but you know what I mean. I am not one for ‘permissive’ parenting, but I think most child psychologist and teachers don’t have it all right.

-Kids aren’t stupid. When you realize that, you will start to have real conversations with them, and really connect with them. Parents usually go into ‘commando mode’ with their children. All day, just telling them what to do and teaching them and lecturing them.

-Let’s keep our kids happy. Happiness, joy, is the experience of life. So much of teaching our kids to be responsible results in blah and unhappy and sometimes downright mean times.

-Kids aren’t trying to be irritating or get you mad. They are just like that. You can tell in the eyes. Short of being mean and rebellious, my kid can do no wrong. They can do anything they want, as long as it is not dangerous.

-We’re the ones that have issues, have bad memories and experiences, have bad days, have bad hair, have bad tempers. We NEED to stop taking it out on our kids.

-Finally, and this is not comprehensive, but a start to us thinking about things, you had them to be happy and fill them. So don’t do this halfway. Give them what they want. We’re the stingy ones. And if you stop and think, kids don’t really ask for a lot. And even if they ask a lot, most likely they just want to talk to you. You’ve told them you can’t afford all that. And they understand that, so maybe they just want you to always say ‘yes’ to them. I don’t know, they are your kids, and you only have a short time with them before they fly the nest, so make the most of it. You have plenty of time for you later. If you can stand you, just joking.


A Look at Favoritism, a Study of James

We saw that in James 1, a major trial of life is to be happy with your lot in life. If it is to be a humble person, to accept that and not want to be a rich person. And vice versa. Yes, unbelievable, but often times especially spiritual, wealthy people want to have a humble and simple life.

In James 2, this chapter is written to the rich. Surprisingly, it is revealed here, that most of the time, not all, the poor in the church, are the leaders in matters of faith. What is the cause of much suffering in a monetized world where we all depend on a money system? It is money or the lack thereof. In Jewish Scripture, the righteous, wealthy man runs after the poor to give to him. In many stories, we see the rich and the poor, working together. The rich gives out of love, and the poor has to accept in humility. If GOD created us all complete and without need and without each other, why would we need to come together? It is yet another way GOD binds us together as family and community.

The rich set up the money system. Alan Greenspan, a Hebrew, obviously an economic genius, is most likely a rich genius. Being rich is a talent. Understanding money and how to handle and make money is a talent. Some people just don’t understand it. Most people don’t, that is why they can just get jobs and be told what to do. Money is a game, like monopoly but for real. But with any game, battle, or anything, you need luck or GOD on your side. And to get GOD on your side, you really NEED to be nice to people, take care of people.

James uses VERY strong language and metaphors:
– exploitation of poor, dragging them into courts, blaspheming (which just means disrespecting GOD) the name of Jesus,
– Love your neighbor as yourself, adultery, murder, etc.,

James reminds us that Christ chose a humble life. James himself it seems chose a humble life. Maybe people weren’t giving to him as he thought they should. But most likely the anger we hear in James about the treatment of the poor is godly anger at the sight of parents not being taken care of by their children, leaders who chose poverty in order to serve GOD and the poor and the spiritual needs of others not being taken care of by others, etc. The suffering experienced by those in leadership was unnecessary if others did their part. One reason, in my thinking, James mentions the Law, is because if you really study the Law of Hashem (as the Jews call GOD), it is 613 Laws. The Law is not only 10 or 7 Noahide Rules or 2. For those not keeping 10, keeping 613 is totally out of reach. But we need to know there are 613 Laws. Some of them seem stupid, like not cutting your hair, but that’s the difference between Divine Law and the Law of Man. Man’s laws are more practical and based on different principles. One main principle on which Divine Law is based on is Love for GOD. If you love your mother, and she insists that you pick out all the blue M&Ms before serving her up some M&Ms in a crystal bowl for your time together every month, then you just do it. So Divine Law states, if you Love GOD, just don’t cut the hair at the sides of your head. Silly? Yes, but.

Just LOVE,

A Short Lesson on Toughness,

I want to be tougher,

Not meaner,

Not heartless,

Not cynical,

Not sharper,

but say whatever you want to say, do whatever you want to do, I’ll never hurt you,

think how you want, because I love you, yes, even you,

Objects of *ate,

I don’t like to say the word anymore, b/c I don’t want to, I want to Love,

Just as people often come home and ‘kick the dog’, everyday, multiple times a day, people need to vent their frustrations, act out, snap, etc at someone whether they have the permission or not.

To me, this is weakness. But, truthfully, it is human nature. As followers of Christ, we are changing into the Divine simply through His instructions, and Divine providence of whatever spiritual strengthening and inner changes are needed. In my experiences, these objects of *ate are:

1) Religious people (esp. Christians),
2) Homosexuals,
3) Poor people,
4) Ethnic minorities,
5) The Weak (women, children, those with handicaps, minorities, etc.)
4) Women (esp. Mom),
5) Animals,
6) The Devil,

This behaviour is so ingrained into society, that check yourself. You may be doing this unconsciously, and that would not be Christ-like behaviour in my opinion. It’s gut check time, can you take the day to day of life? Another secret I have discovered is that life takes on the form? of your beliefs. Whatever you think that is what can/will happen. Thousands of years ago, if you told someone we would be flying in gigantic metallic tubes, you would have been thrown in the looney bin and the key thrown away as well. But, someone had the vision the thought that airplanes could be reality. So, if we simply think that I can take the hardships of life

WITHOUT taking it out on others,

Couldn’t that really happen? Maybe not in one day, but maybe after a week of holding in your frustrations and anger, your body would be able to swallow it up, and perhaps the Divine would pull it out of you as you slept. It was my experience that frustrations, anger, – pent up would eventually explode because it was always there. You could always let it out slowly and in small amounts, or swallow it up like Yoda absorbed the lightning Dark Force power from Siths.

That guy is cool,

My Hats Off To Our African American Bros and Sisters,

On my way to Los Angeles from Guam,

I was stopped both in Guam and in Hawaii by Airport Security. Because of my appearance, largeness (and in-charge-ness, haa), and sweatiness, and the metal in my hip and legs, I was pulled aside and searched more thoroughly, if you understand.

My son was there watching. And on the second leg of the trip, I helped a elderly, larger, African American woman navigate the airport in Hawaii. The Hawaii airport can be confusing if you haven’t been there before. After I exited the search room with my son with perhaps a upset look on my face, there was the woman walking by, smiling assurance. She said, “Now you know …”

If we stop to think, and really be honest. The African American people are extremely intelligent, loving, soulful, and talented people. But, as a community, when we compare us peoples, they seem the most robust and threatening. Their size, strength, power, and dark skin may intimidate us and so we don’t often look at them as people, but we often cannot get past the surface. What I mean by that is, we think “Big, scary, dark skin, scary, tall, scary…” and so we have an emotional or subconscious aversion or negative preconception already.

Just as you can or even want to get close to an elephant, lion, or rhino at the zoo, couldn’t we show the same kind of open-mindedness and trust and interest in a fellow man? People are strange. Us people just don’t make sense sometimes, and we’re suppose to be at the top of the chain,


The victories you have given me,

I remember the day you spoke to me in the hospital, your Voice has a vibration, a quality I will never forget,

I remember the day I stood up for the first time after my car accident. I thought I would never walk again,

You cured my mother of cancer so she could attend to me, !!!

You woke me from my deep dark sleep and started me walking in the light (~Fall 2002)

You helped me through to get my Masters Degree,

You healed me, from disease, from brokenness, from uselessness, and I married,

Joshua Chen, my son, Your son, came,

I started, Health World, my business, I was so proud,

When the local power company made a large billing error, it was you that came through and reversed it,

I finally started a successful computer business,

I met many of the best on Guam,

When I was down to my last dollar, you sent the ‘miracle check’,

It’s as said in the movie, ‘Nothing is impossible with Jesus’,

We should all be bold to say your Name, Jesus,



There is none that loves us more than He, that much is true,

This World,

The world we live in has been compromised,

And although we can live in our ivory towers and be shining lights,

It is more Christ-like to dive into the muck and help, especially those that really need the help,

Who are those? They are the ones that everyone hates, yes, even you, even the Christians,

I’ve learned that even a crime done with a noble heart is not a crime at all,

You will be punished for the crime, but sometimes in THIS WORLD, that is what we have to do,

Doing bad, or doing dirt is like getting dirty. Sometimes we cannot be afraid to get dirty,

That’s why we need Jesus, our High Priest, to clean us up, and to speak for us,

The more important thing is INTENTION,

Enough for today, May GOD, the LORD Jesus Christ, bless you,


GOD is LOVE, GOD is in the LOVE,

So you see people worshiping, singing to the LORD Jesus. They are singing contemporary Christian music that sounds frankly like all types of popular love songs. They really love it. They are really getting into it. You can see their eyes shut, smiling, hands reaching out, and they are really trying to connect to GOD.


Is this the only way to worship? The lyrics and emotional movement of the music make it a very, very good way to communicate to the One True GOD how you feel and how you regard Him/Her, but what I realized today is that these people were able to reach out and connect to GOD because?

They all really LOVE music,

Of course, when you reach out, GOD reaches back, and when you honor Him by seeking Him at His House, He honors you with His presence.

But my simple point is that whatever you LOVE to do, GOD can reach you through that. The flip-side of that is if you really dislike going to a church, maybe you want to try a different church? Maybe you want to try to go less frequently? Because although GOD can meet you anywhere and although GOD can do the impossible. I just don’t understand being forced to do things. I understand duty sometimes and one should be rewarded for said duty, but if you don’t enjoy something, why do it? Really, unless there is some other reason I don’t understand, and then that’s up to you.

In my youth, :-), I loved to play sports. When I would jump up and hit a jump shot or spike one down hard, in that split second there was a touching of GOD and heaven. It was like worship music or uh, orgasm during sex. Do what you love, don’t be afraid to fail, GOD is a loving GOD, GOD will cover you, with persistence and hard work and good choices and a little of heavenly ‘luck’, YOU will SUCCEED!


Everyone Is Going Thru Something,

When I remember how I used to be,

Many people I meet are shiny, happy people with great personalities, no major problems, great jobs, great hair, great girlfriends/boyfriends, etc. They’re just GREAT! And they are the envy of everyone.

I don’t know why but the people, the world I’ve been around are people with problems. They can’t be happy for any length of time. And they selflessly DON’T talk incessantly about their problems. But, I know they have major problems because they are such angry, imbalanced, and sarcastic people. Their thought processes are different and they don’t really see things the way most people do.

Call it what you want to, but I just know that one day, I too will go through something again. I did, from about age 17 to 29 was in a major funk. It was the LORD Jesus that brought me out of it. Life throws curve balls at us all the time. And I know, many people were there for me when I was all alone. Or I thought I was. I hope that I can be there for somebody, always there. And when it’s my turn, she will always be there for me.


My Mother, I Get,

I have been so, so fortunate to have a second chance on life,

What I mean is, I was in a really serious car accident in 2001, and had to come home to Guam to rehab. And so I got to spend a lot of time with my mom and dad, especially my dad.

When I was growing up, my brothers and I never saw my dad enough. Maybe that’s why I have over compensated and spend all my time with my son. He really like it, he never can get enough of me. And I’ll enjoy this while I can, especially hugging on him and tender moments. Because it won’t last. Sometimes I wish my dad and i were closer but being a man doesn’t preclude this anymore. But my point, is my parents and I are solid. I know them very, very well. And I know them in deeper ways because of the same Spirit that binds us all.

My mother and all people, especially old people are not easy books. Prophet people often think they know it all and they are always right. It takes sensitivity and humility and truth to know that just as no one can understand the depths of the Spirit of GOD, know one can really understand the depths of anyone person created by GOD, just b/c we, people, are also spiritual beings.

My mother is a funny person, but her jokes are hard to get. She likes Bible jokes, she is not a laugh out loud jokey jokey type person, but her humor is more cerebral and sarcastic. My mother is very complicated because she is a disciplinarian and likes to argue, not debate but argue. Yet, she is most definitely a mature Christian. I can see the power of love and life within her because people are still drawn to her even though she has a very tough exterior. And all around her, trees, plants, flowers blossom and grow like there are no more tomorrows.

My mother likes to act. Her main purpose is to help and grow people and bless people. She allows people to dislike her, but it always works to bless people. She doesn’t really mind it, because she is very strong. And I just trust her, because she has many decades of helping people and observing people, so she must really understand the human personality. My parents like to give money away, but the problem is people are proud and they don’t often can return the money. My parents like to be assholes so that people will feel like they don’t have to return the money. You understand? I think about things a lot, maybe too much sometimes.

As we transition to Father’s Day, I’d like to transition my post. I just, just accepted the Father into my life, and He accepted me. The biggest issue He had with me, was my violent nature. I’ve since corrected that, and now my father and I are really getting to know each other and talk. It can be confusing, this world and the spiritual world, but as you mature you will be able to understand and phase back and forth. Behind it all, is the Most High GOD, and His purposes. It is difficult to understand the Father because He is so High and Big. But a lot of times when we need help deciding, it is often our biological fathers that our Father in Heaven chooses to speak through. Sometimes it is that simple. In this special months of May and June, don’t forget to call your parents and tell them, “I Love You!”


One of My Best Choices,

It was actually to get married and have my son, but,

One of my best choices in life was to choose to be kind. It wasn’t to be a Christian, for what does that really mean sometimes? It wasn’t to be a vegetarian. It was to choose to be kind. And what I mean by that is that in thought, word, and deed never do I ever intend to hurt anything or anyone.

How does this play out in real life?

Well, if a bug or ant is walking on your body, do you? a) Squash it immediately, without thinking you destroy a living albeit tiny masterpiece? b) most gently remove it from your body and onto another surface.

Decide to minimize your meat eating b/c you want to BE the change. It is my personal conviction that we as humans can just eat plants. In the Book of Enoch, we read that the whole meat eating was introduced to mankind by fallen angels. I wholeheartedly confess. Meat tastes great! But it is still cruel to animals. I’m sorry to say.

When people try to provoke me, when people put their shit on me, whatever the reason people be mean to me in thought, emotion, words, or deeds, I have decided that I will always just try to TAKE IT. For the cause of Christ. Because actually that is what Christ did. We live in a hurting world. And hurt people hurt people. It is a cycle of passing on pain and suffering and injustice. Being kind stops this continuous cycle. When you are being kind and take on other people’s pain and suffering you are being like Christ.

At some level, people know what is going on. They know and appreciate what you do for them. For example, since I stopped eating meat, I learned to be kind to animals. They really just want food. They are really easy to please. They also want to be treated with respect and they want their own space and to be able to raise up their young and not live in a dangerous world. But since I decided to be kind to ALL living things, butterflies, all insects, birds, cats, and dogs all seems to like me. They smile at me, stop by to say hi, and sometimes they help me, birds and dogs often guide me. Why? Because when you help someone/something, the favor is ALWAYS returned. And the soul or essences of these life forms want to have harmony and to give back. It takes spiritual eyes and ears to observe and then live this. I won’t get into this too much, but I believe that when you don’t eat animals they can smell it. If you eat chicken don’t expect any birds to like you anytime soon. Also, I have experience the aura of the human body. When you eat meat, your aura is changed. Animals see in a different spectrum, so when you have an aura they like, they will approach you. You can try this with babies too.

With people it is the same, but people are a little more guarded, jaded, and they often don’t say what they mean. But if you really want to be kind then be kind all the way and help. I noticed that when I smile more, people smile back more. I realized that when in your heart you clear away prejudice, preconceptions, and be open and love, life takes on a new meaning, color, and sound. Do not fear. But a lot of which movie you are in, also depends on your history. Work with GOD to clear and clean up your life and make it the life you always wanted. Being positive falls flat for some people because they just quit. It’s okay. Just keep on keeping on. As you do it, it just becomes easier like walking or running. Being hopeful, positive, having faith and trust in humanity are all very good things especially for your experience of life. So keep your head up and keep yourself in the light and walking on the clouds as well,


The 10th Commandment is?

When we start to study the Ten Commandments, we often start out good and then blank out,

and then we get to the one on keeping the Sabbath, and kind of go, ‘huh?’

and then we get to the one on Killing (no problem), Adultery (uh, no problem), Stealing (yeah, no problem), and Honesty (uh…), stop.

When we start to get worked on by the Spirit of the LORD, Who comes but the Spirit of Truth. When you minister, if you see someone really start to try to be honest, then you know this a good candidate.

But the tenth commandment is? Do not covet. When we read that, most people think, no problem I don’t want what other people have. But, really the tenth commandment is something EVERYONE, or almost EVERYONE struggles with. We say we don’t want what other people have. But then why are we never content. Contentment is very hard to find and a secret to being happy.

Reality is very simple but confusing. Whatever you are, whatever you have that is reality. That is the life GOD wants for you at this moment. That is because GOD is so, so, so in charge. So running away or trying to change too much, or trying to be something you are not, are all attempts to take charge of your life when GOD is always in charge whether we admit it or not. But the other side of the coin are considerations like: What is GOD trying to teach you right now? Have you addressed some things in your past like He asked you to? Did He/She ask you to do something and did you do it? Or what about, is He/She testing you? Do you really know what He/She is like? Did GOD really want Abraham to sacrifice his own son? I’ve experienced that GOD sometimes tells you the wrong thing to test if you know right from wrong.

For a long time, I compared my life to others saying why don’t I have this like that person. And GOD got a hold of me and said everyone is different. What He gives to one, another does not or even cannot have. Often we need to trust that GOD gives everyone what they need. So why is it human nature to look around and want what others have? I really don’t know, but for me it came down to stewardship. Are we really able to handle all that GOD gives us. And for me, the answer was no. For a while, I wanted more and more, but I really wasn’t doing a good enough job with what He already gave me. And I wasn’t really honest with what I had. After I learned to manage stuff well enough, GOD started trusting me with people. And that my friends is where the real treasure is. It all revolves around people. The stuff is just a way to connect. And when you are ready for this truth, the stuff wins/purchases people for GOD.

When the Student is Ready, BLANK appears,

As they say, when the student is ready, the teacher appears,

Whatever GOD is working on with you: be it covetousness (that’s a tough one), honesty, stealing (what about the ol’ mp3s?), sex and sexuality, and violence?

Let me start in reverse order b/c violence has been my latest triumph. And GOD does want us to be victorious in our lives! GOD really started to work with me on this one three years ago. I moved to Seattle and my dad made me move back. When my dad told me to I was thinking WTF. But I heard the Spirit through and through what he was saying. My Heavenly Father compelled me to return to Guam.

I come from a background and lineage of military people. This I know. My great great great grandfather was a high ranking officer in the Dutch military who was granted a fief, so to speak. No, it was colonial times so he was granted control of a large area of land by the Dutch government. On that land, he employed the locals to labor in building projects, farming, etc.

I am a NBK. By nature I should be in Law Enforcement, but after following Christ, I can’t go that way anymore. So it is difficult when you aren’t working in your natural strengths. GOD used the withholding of $$$ to really break me up about this. There were many times I thought about committing a crime to make money. I know that some of our biggest baddest fighters and warriors are? In prison. Why? Because they are just too dangerous to live in normal society. It isn’t that they committed a crime first? It is because of the reaction of society to them and being hated and being pegged as assholes and thugs and not being able to get and/or keep a job. Bosses don’t like to hire someone who could be dangerous.

After three years of breaking shit, almost getting thrown in jail, and mostly beating myself up over failing again and again, I tried the unthinkable, a Biblical solution. Fasting and praying. And it worked, thank Jesus! I am also mostly vegetarian b/c I don’t want to be a hurtful and aggressive person. I’ve been ‘clean and sober’ for…about three months now. I say sober because when you get angry, you really can’t think. So being a person who likes to think I am somewhat intelligent, I now don’t freak out or get mad b/c I want to keep my head. It is really easy to see. Just really observe people who lose their cool often. It isn’t their cool they lose, they lose their minds and their ability to reason very quickly.

What I’d like to say lastly is that when I really started to get on top of this problem, I saw GOD’s encouragement. He started to bless me with money. My surroundings started to get more beautiful. My home was filled with more furniture, food, it was cleaner, my family was happier, laughing, and they were verbally encouraging me. People still react to me initially the same way, but I’m learning to not react back or smile more or do something that makes them laugh. I also try to talk more so they can get the sense that I’m not really like that. And I don’t mind going the extra step to make people feel at ease. I don’t know why, but I just look like a bad guy. I sound like a bad guy. And I’ve been told that I just look like I stink.

I also started to notice Angels all around me. They are happy I got the victory. When I start to stumble a little bit, I can always sense they are helping me. It is usually an Angel’s voice within someone else’s voice while people are talking as I go about my business everyday. But as I move to Los Angeles (I was just there a couple weeks ago), the Angels have mostly always been Catholics or Jewish People. Mostly Jewish People. I really like them. They have a certain look, but it’s…I just like them. The fasting and prayers changed me, but the Angels help and now mostly it was/is because my wife is cold to me, still. I’m determined to win her back over time.

To be continued,

My Imaginations: Jesus in Hell,

Our LORD Jesus says in Revelations, that He has the keys of Death and Hades. That means:

Jesus rules Heaven and Earth AND HELL, JESUS RULES IT ALL,

Christians ask, “Did Jesus go to Hell?”

Yes, but not in the way you think. He went there to take over. He was legally taken there, because He carried the sins of the world. It isn’t discussed much. But, I think the devil required the death of the Son, just as depicted in the ‘Chronicles of Narnia’ movies. But remember, the devil does not rule Hell, his domain is now earth, having lost his place in Heaven. His misdeeds are all recorded, and his time is running out. He may have had control of hell, but Jesus gots the keys now.

The very funny, and ‘not fair’ thing is:

GOD is GOD! Jesus, is the LORD and GOD and He can not die. As He said, He lays His life down, and then He picks it up again. And as a powerful Singaporean preacher says, “Grace swallows sin up!” All the sins of the world could not keep Jesus down. He just wiped it all away.

There is a story of Avalokitesvara, an avatar of GOD, who appeared around 500 B.C. She is now worshipped in Buddhism as Guan-Yin, the Goddess of Light. It is my understanding that she is more like an angel or saint, not worthy of worship. She went to the deepest, darkest hell, because she also took on the sins of others. It is funny that she got kicked out of hell. For such was the power of goodness and life and light in her, that while she was in hell, she kept transforming it into heaven. And the powers there were unhappy with that, so they released her.

So what happened when Jesus went to Death and Hades for three days? When He spoke to the Pharisees, He compared it to Jonah being in the belly of the whale for three days. I don’t comprehend it clearly, but GOD-Jesus has always loved and been concerned with all people. Jesus even loves the people in death and hell. In the book of Hebrews, it says that He even led some of them to Heaven in those three days. I guess that just as many in our prisons were wrongfully incarcerated, some in hell did not deserve to be there.

Don’t feel sorry for Jesus. GOD always knows what He is doing. When Jesus went to Hell, He did suffer, but He also went there to tour it as King, take authority, free the captives, maybe He even vacationed there and made it a better, kinder place.

I Saw Your Teardrops and Heard You Cry,

These are lyrics of the song – “I’m Your Angel” by Celine Dion and R. Kelly,

What do you do when GOD asks you to watch and pray? You don’t sleep anymore and can sleep or stay awake anytime. It is said in the Jewish scriptures that the dedicated students of Torah, meet with the LORD in the garden at midnight.

No problem,

What do you do when GOD pushes you to change. He shows you that violence is NOT the Way. He shows you, NO convinces you that gentleness, kindness, goodness is the Way. Period. No double mindedness. No wavering between sternness and severity AND gentleness and peacefulness. So, He changes me, and I accept His change.

No problem,

What do you do when GOD asks you to fast and pray. He asks you to push yourself to two, three, then four days of fasting. You pray and sing into the night. The suffering of days, abuse heaped on you, sickness thrown on you, all the crap of everyone you’ve encountered in the last few days becomes the gift of tears as you give it all up to the LORD.

No problem, just part of the call,

So, what do you do when GOD moves the neighbors in. They are always partying, always have different people over at all times of the night, they treat their kids good, fight with other tenants, and don’t help the apartment look nice and clean. At first, you avoid them and complain about them. But what happens if GOD gives you Love for them? We love them now. We still have a hard time with them, but they are always on your hearts, mind, and in our prayers.

I have a problem with how life has treated them. When I took the trash out at 2 AM, on more than one occasion, I saw you sitting by yourself, back turned to me, drunk, not aware of me there, crying and obviously crying to GOD. You were praying, and I know He heard you. I will not forget that until you have moved into the better/best life GOD has for you,

Is Robot Me Expensive?

My son asked me, “Is robot me expensive?”, since I always talk about buying all the toys he wants being expensive. And we see robot shows on TV.

He brings to my mind something I read a long, long time ago. A robot that can do some kind of work, say on an assembly line, is worth – millions of dollars.


Yet, we don’t value life, babies, ourselves. People put each other down. People treated each other like crap.

It shouldn’t be this way.

You really are a living miracle of a masterpiece. No one on this earth can engineer a human being. You are absolutely priceless.

Please believe that if not anything else. You are intrinsically worth probably $1,000,000,000,000,000. Just by standing there you are worth that. Because you are a biological wonder. Priceless! Love yourself and treat others with respect, please.


Why o Why? Thank Jesus for Thy Peace and Love,

Jesus cares about each and everyone of us. At some level, we all know it and feel it. But the experiences and pain of the past, the deafening loud experience of the here and now, drown out the still, small voice of the LORD Jesus.

I guess that’s why it is important to have ‘quiet time’ with GOD each morning if possible,

Right now, my life is not all puppy dogs and rainbows. But, I have faith in Jesus, that He is doing something and has His eye on me, and will not let me fall. Even though it feels like I can freak out anytime. He holds me together as He holds the entire Universe together by His mighty Word!

I just breathe, take things slow, and keep smiling. I keep my eye on the ball, the prizes – which are my Jesus (never, never, never leave You), my wife, my son, and my parents. I also pray for my family, my extended family, church family, neighborhood, the communities in which I belong, societies, countries, and the world, and the Universe. Praying unceasingly helps me through this life, a lot.

As a guy, I can’t talk about anything, so my relationship and trust in Sovereign LORD Jesus is deepening. It really seems true that nothing is really free. The Israelites were freed from Egypt at the cost of the firstborn of the Egyptians, we, Gentiles now have faith, at the cost of the unbelief of the Jews. And my wife’s relationship with GOD, it seems, is blossoming (though I can’t see it), at the cost of my relationship with her.