So you’re moving from being single to married? You’re around late twenties to early thirties? I’m 38. I married at 35. Really late, I know. In retrospect, after being in marriage for a few years, what would I do differently? Mind you, I’m spewing from a traditional perspective.
When I was single, I was really looking hard for my ‘one’. Looking back, I was seemingly obsessed. A lot of it was feelings of inadequacy, peer pressure, loneliness, boredom, DESIRE FOR SEX, need for fulfillment. A lot of things. That’s why when you do get married, I say, “don’t mess it up!” You may in the heat of the moment want to throw it all away. But, look at how much a marriage means to you. It’s not just a body, it’s more than having someone to love, it’s really the whole enchilada.
Somethings I would look out for, just me by the way:
-1) Pick someone who is committed. Not crazy! I mean someone who is a faithful and patient person. Someone who doesn’t bail out at the first sign of difficulty or trouble. Why? Because believe it or not, although I married someone a lot like me, she and I still had a ton of differences. To work through everything and get to know each other takes commitment. We even fought a lot, but we still stayed together. And I’m much better for it. Committed and a person of their word. Integrity is important.
0) Pick someone who loves you for you. Not what you can give. Sometimes we’re willing to marry someone because we want to be married so bad.
0.5) If it doesn’t feel right, if you’ve seen the signs that’s she’s not right. Then she’s not right for you. Break it off. (more…)