Family life

We don’t all come from perfect family backgrounds. As a matter of fact, some of us have had just so-so parents. And we are still suffering from it. But, that’s what forgiveness is for. If you don’t think about it, make a conscious decision to NOT make the same mistakes as your parents, and forgive them, and be peaceful about it, then you will repeat the same mistakes on your own kids.

Family is the basic unit in society. Currently with the 50% divorce rate, we are only seeing 50% of society having that unit. There are many single parents, foster parents, and all kinds of combinations popping up. When a kid grows up without a father or mother, they don’t really have ‘all the tools’ to succeed in life. So, when you are thinking about breaking up with your sig. other, think again, for the kids. I’ve experienced firsthand, the effects of growing up without a father. Being a guy, without a father growing up, you don’t have a role model. That means you tend to not know how to talk and behave like a guy, you don’t know how to do any guy stuff, and when it comes time to meet a girl, you don’t know how to engage her. Awkward. Also, if you don’t have a dad around, you most likely don’t listen to anyone. You haven’t been trained to be obedient. All of these issues could lead to big problems when the kid is released into society as an adult.

When survival and making money is the big challenge. Often the person never is afforded the time and chance to amend these deficiencies in character and skills. So, the person and his/her family line after him/her will have difficulty succeeding in life.

A few ideas about family life:
-Family doesn’t have sex with each other.
-Family doesn’t abuse each other, either verbally or physically. Family should be a safe place where people are kind to each other. If there is a time for training or hardening it should be supervised by the dad or mom and the kids or participants should know it is training time. Kids often get confused. I don’t know. Does my dad or mom love me? Why do they hurt me? Sometimes parents hurt their kids b/c they want them to grow thicker skin or to have ability to take insults, hardships, and adversity. But this is understood at a unconscious level OR they don’t bother to communicate this to their children.
-The home should have enough space. And justice and fairness practiced. If there is too much sharing of space or things, people will fight. Parents should be impartial. If there is question about that, just have one kid. A big problem in society today is that everyone thinks they should have at least two point four kids. How many kids you want is determined by talking with your spouse. But how many you can actually have is determined by how much money you have. Also your ability to take care of them. Some people have kids only to realize they aren’t kid people or have the patience to care for or the ability to teach them.
-The old thinking treats kids as chattels or property. The new thinking is that children are little persons. They just haven’t developed the skills and some concepts necessary for survival and success. My thinking is your job is to support and guide them. You have a responsibility to teach them right from wrong, and other things. You must teach them a skill to make a living. And you must as much as possible teach them to make good choices and give them freedom. They are not you. They are not your slaves. They are free people. When you have developed them to the point they can fly away. Most likely they will return your love, if you treated them with love and respect.
-We really need to love our family. That’s another place where love is practiced. The first is to practice love with your spouse. Part of loving one another is studying each other, knowing each other, investing in one another, giving of everything (time, service, gifts, love, etc.),
-Family is always there. It is your permanent connection. Family is your rock. They are who you can run to whenever something wrong happens. Everyone needs someone like that. And family is that. If you don’t have anyone like that you can depend on always and that can love you unconditionally, then you need to find that. Without that, people cannot move up and on to better and higher levels of life experience. You may find a substitute family in church.
-You have a duty to your family. Family responsibilities. In some societies, when a person reaches adulthood, they have to give part of their income to their parents. And some peoples, take care of their parents when they get old. Family is the best. If you have a good family then you most likely don’t even need friends.

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