Friend life

Friendship is very hard to define, b/c it can be so many things to different people. A basic definition of friendship is someone who is like minded and works with you. Someone that helps you.

I see many people who hang out with people who are obviously NOT helping them. There are people that enjoy preying on people, taking advantage of people, abusing people, etc. And unknowing innocent people think those people are their friends. C’mon!

A friend is nice to you.
A friend says nice things about you.
A friend is not mean to you. Most of the time,
A friend gives to you,
A friend spends time with you,
A friend is not ashamed of you,

These are the nuggets of gold here though, my experience tells me:

-A TRUE friend is time tested. If you meet someone for five minutes and you are friends already. Look out! That person may just want something from you. Don’t give too much too fast to that person. My best friend of almost ten years and I are not that close, b/c we both are really busy and have family obligations. But, it took a few years to observe that the other person is not out to hurt me or take advantage of me. Then it took a few years to find common interests. And it took many emails, phone calls, and house visits to establish a regular hangout.

-Often a friend is someone who is a lot like you. Either you share similar interests OR you are at the same level in something. I noticed that the best friends you have are most like you. But the funny thing is socio-economic level for me has always been about the same. It is sad but true. Those above you will always try to put you to work, those below you will always have their hands out.

-There are many people who call you ‘bro’ or say ‘you are family’. Don’t get confused by that. You may get confused, b/c you have had a family life that was/is lacking. This person reminds you of a father figure, brother, or sister that is not talking to you. But, keep your head. You are really only starting a FRIENDSHIP. When someone who could be a friend is talking about being family, again, WATCH OUT! Most likely they want to take advantage of you OR they really have deep needs or they themselves have some disappointment in their family life. Who doesn’t?

-When you start a friendship you REALLY need to know what this is about. Why are you friends? Because if you don’t try to set ground rules and define the relationship it could get out of hand. Meaning, you can be TAKEN OF ADVANTAGE OF. It is best to keep friendships simple. You have a set of eating out friends. And you have another set of JUST golf buddies. And that’s all you do with them, golf. When you do too many things with one person, it gets confusing. It gets hard to keep track of things. If you get this involved with another person, may it be a girl if you are a guy, and a guy if you are a girl, so you could just marry that person.

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